When No One Knows You’re Using and You’re Starting to Worry
- Aug 1
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 3
You’re doing well at work. Deadlines land. People rely on you. No one would guess. But a question keeps nagging you: Is this sustainable, or am I drifting towards a relapse?
Inside, you’ve noticed a shift. Using it a little earlier. A little more. A little more often. You still show up, but the worry is louder. Sometimes you catch the thought: what if I slip and these snowballs?
If you’re wondering whether this is starting to run you instead of the other way around, that’s your early-warning system speaking. Read on for clear signs to watch, simple steps to steady things, and ways to lower your risk of relapse.
What Makes It Hard to Spot Someone Might Use Again?
High-functioning People are Often Praised, not Questioned
They meet deadlines, answer messages, and keep promises. Comments like “you are a machine” or “how do they do it all” make others assume everything is fine, so few ask about substance use.
No Visible Chaos does not Mean they Feel Okay
There may be no missed meetings or blow-ups. Yet sleep gets lighter, tension rises, and personal rules keep shifting from only weekends to only after six to just this once. Functioning can sit alongside growing concern.
Stigma Leads People to Minimise
They tell themselves “it is not that bad,” “I can stop,” “everyone has something.” Fear of judgement delays the same help they would recommend to someone else.
Signs You Might Be Struggling (Even If No One Else Notices)
You don’t have to check every box. Even a couple are worth attention:
Needing it to relax or cope rather than just to celebrate or unwind.
Thinking about it more than you want to—planning, timing, hiding, negotiating with yourself.
Failed attempts to cut down, even with new rules and good intentions.
Guilt, secrecy, and keeping it from loved ones, which adds stress on top of stress.
Worrying “what if this gets worse?”—and feeling that worry more days than not.
If you saw these signs in someone you care about, you’d take them seriously. Offer yourself the same care.
Why This Pattern Is Common and Reversible
Many people keep life running on the outside while a private reliance on a substance grows on the inside. We see this often.
First the rules you set for yourself stop holding. Then the worry gets a little louder. That is the pattern many people notice before they ask for help.
Being high-functioning shows you can deliver under pressure. It does not automatically mean you are healthy or safe. Both can be true at once.
The good news is that this pattern can be turned around. Early, simple steps make a big difference. With the right tools and a plan that fits your day, the pull gets weaker and your confidence grows.
Talk It Through in Confidence
You do not have to carry this worry by yourself. If the question keeps popping up, let us help you answer it.
We help high-functioning, busy people who want private support. Change can be calm and practical.
Tell us what is happening. We will listen, ask a few simple questions, and give you a clear read on what is going on and what to do next.
About the Author
Graeme Alford is the founder of Reset My Future and has been sober for over 40 years. Once a high-functioning alcoholic whose addiction cost him everything—including his career and freedom—Graeme rebuilt his life from the ground up. Today, he leads a one-on-one recovery program that helps people stop drinking, reset their thinking, and start living a life they’re proud of.He holds a Diploma in Alcohol, Other Drugs & Mental Health and has worked with hundreds of clients who want a real alternative to traditional rehab. His approach blends lived experience with evidence-based strategies—and a deep belief that no one is too far gone to change.
