How to Help a High-Functioning Alcoholic
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Updated: May 14
When someone you care about seems to have it all together—successful career, social life, family—it’s easy to miss the signs that alcohol might be a serious issue. High-functioning alcoholics don’t always “look” like alcoholics, which can make it harder for them, and for you, to recognise when there’s a problem.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re worried. Maybe you’ve seen changes, heard excuses, or just have that gut feeling something isn’t right. This guide will walk you through what it means to be high-functioning and, more importantly, how you can offer help without pushing them away.
Understanding What “High Functioning” Means
A high-functioning alcoholic is someone who is living with alcohol dependency but manages to maintain a relatively normal life. They may hold down a high-pressure job, raise a family, stay socially active—yet quietly rely on alcohol to cope, unwind, or get through the day.
On the surface, everything might look fine. But underneath, their mental and physical health is suffering. That’s what makes this type of alcohol use so dangerous—it often flies under the radar until a major crisis hits.
What is the #1 killer for alcoholics?
The top cause of death linked to alcoholism is liver disease, particularly alcoholic liver cirrhosis. Alcohol-related heart issues, accidents, and mental health complications are also common.
What is the life expectancy of a high-functioning alcoholic?
Studies show alcohol misuse can reduce life expectancy by up to 24–28 years, depending on the severity and duration of use.
The Common Misconceptions About High Functioning
A few myths keep people from recognising the issue:
“They’re doing well at work, so they can’t be an alcoholic.”
“They’re always social and in control.”
“They don’t drink during the day—it can’t be that bad.”
These assumptions are dangerous. Functioning doesn’t mean healthy. Often, it just means they’re hiding it better.
How You Can Recognise if Someone is a Functioning Alcoholic
Here are some signs to watch for:
They drink daily or heavily after work.
They make jokes or excuses about their drinking.
You’ve noticed blackouts, memory loss, or mood changes.
They become defensive if you bring up their drinking.
They avoid situations where they can’t drink.
Why Is High-Functioning Alcoholism Dangerous & Why They Tend to Resist Treatment?
Because they’re “functioning,” it’s easy for them to stay in denial. They may say:
“I haven’t missed work.”
“I’m not like those people in rehab.”
“I just like to unwind.”
But underneath it all, there’s fear—fear of change, of stigma, of losing control. And because they still have things to lose, they cling tightly to the illusion of control.
This delay in seeking help often leads to deeper dependence and more damage in the long run.
Here Are 10 Ways to Help a High-Functioning Alcoholic
Educate Yourself – Understand what high-functioning alcoholism really is.
Choose Your Timing – Talk to them when they’re sober and calm.
Avoid Labels – Saying “you’re an alcoholic” can shut down the conversation.
Share What You See – Use “I” statements: “I’ve noticed you seem more stressed lately.”
Don’t Enable – Covering for them, making excuses, or minimising the impact only feeds the cycle.
Encourage Professional Help – Mention options like outpatient programs or private support.
Offer to Help Find Support – Be practical—help them research, book a consultation, or explore resources.
Set Boundaries – Protect your own wellbeing too. It’s okay to say “I can’t keep ignoring this.”
Stay Consistent – Don’t get pulled into emotional arguments or mixed messages.
Be Patient – Change takes time. Even if they resist, your words might plant the seed.
💡 Can you live happily with an alcoholic?
You might be holding things together now, but happiness is hard to maintain when addiction is in the picture. True connection, trust, and peace require honesty and healing—on both sides.
Next Steps
Helping a high-functioning alcoholic can be confusing and emotionally draining—but you’re not alone. Whether you’re looking for support for a loved one or just trying to make sense of what’s going on, there are resources available.
At Reset My Future, we offer a private, flexible, and highly personalised program designed for people exactly like this—those who are struggling but still trying to maintain their lives.
If you’re ready to talk about what might help—either for you or someone you care about—book a free consultation today. It could be the first step toward a very different future.
